Lenten Season

What are you giving up for lent, what are you giving up for Lent?

That's the familiar refrain once Ash Wednesday rolls around. Personally I don't believe in giving up one insignificant and/or random thing in your life. Fasting is a worthwhile "skill" to develop as a Christian. The spiritual effects of denying the body nourishment in order to look to God and depend on God wholly and totally for guidance is a really fulfilling one. It's a worthwhile challenge.

Last year Bo and I decided we were going to take up the challenge after hearing a powerful sermon at our church the week before Lenten season. We were not going to be dogmatic about it but allow ourselves to be changed and challenged. We discussed as a family three prayer points we wanted to bring before God and that were going to be the theme of our prayers. Whenever the hunger pangs get too much or we think we couldn't possibly make it another minute we pray. We supported each other too. So there were times I'd call Bo begging to break our fast, and he'd talk through it with me and we'd continue. There were days either he or I couldn't make it but instead of dwelling on it, we forgave each other and started anew the next day. It was a very tough and difficult exercise but it was one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. One of the things we were praying about we saw a concrete breakthrough even before the end of the Lenten Season. I knew God had answered our prayers because we did not discuss with anybody and the way that door opened was seemingly completely random. It was awesome. And the blessings and lessons we received during the season lasted us throughout the whole year! As a reason we've been looking forward to this special time. I'm challenged even further to ensure that the purpose in my heart is not things, but to strengthen my walk with God and for both of us to mature in our Christianity.

We're going to try again this year and it's going to be even more awesome. I chose to blog about this and I guess I may have more spiritual posts in the next 7 weeks, because it is important to me to encourage anybody else in this regard.

Day At a Time

I've taken a hiatus from the blog but mostly because I've been busy with work and family. Yes, I know regular excuse. I was not even able to check on my favorite blogs so imagine Bo's confusion when I squealed in excitement for ChiChi's baby and Amy's baby addition! Congratulations to these fabulous new mamas who are a part of my blog community. Your daughters are gorgeous :-)

Nothing much's new in the BoKem household which is just as well. I think I've mentioned here before how rarely we fight or argue which is really a blessing. Also I think we're even more used to each other's nuisances and we respect each other even moreso today than we did when we got married two years ago. So nowadays once we notice tension prone moments we both just slow down and thread carefully in order to diffuse the tension. Initially it was tough to have to will yourself over to your spouse, whom you feel is wrong by the way lol, and do something just to diffuse tension and get things in order. For example it was difficult for me after a tension-filled moment to then go and hug and kiss my hubby and just generally cuddle up to him. I'm getting easier with that. Even if I'm right. Probably it's because we both hate confrontation which works for us!

About baby watch, well, I'm in a GREAT place with that. I LOVE that we haven't rushed things and that we talk about having children and raising them so much these days I'm so glad that we have this time to talk around it. We've talked about spacing our kids, we've talked about education and our desires regarding that, we've talking about family dynamics and encouraging equality and confidence between the children, we've talked about the principles and values we want to build within the family unit, and more. It's been really enlightening and I feel so much that we are within God's plan for us. We're in a really good place regarding this I think. I don't feel much that it is about me, I feel that it is about us. I don't feel rushed or hurried. I don't really stay away from children anymore fearing everyone would look at me thinking "awww..." I'm so very confident that when it's the time for us. It will just fit naturally into our lives. No jamming it in there. There's an incredible sense of peace I have now, that I didn't have even 6 months ago and I thank God for that. I think part of why it's this way is that I've fully accepted who I am, who my husband is, and how we feel. It's okay. We don't gawk or fawn at babies, we're very detached about it sometimes. A friend of ours showed us a picture of a baby and she was so smitten, asking me "look, isn't she so cute". Honestly I felt no heart strings. Neither did my husband. She was a bit shocked. I'm now okay with it. That's just the way God made me!

On another note, I was out to dinner with my Aunt recently and she tutted at me when I suggested the dinner because she asked me "Hope you've prepared dinner for Bo?" I replied that we both had to eat dinner somehow somewhere and Bo is an adult, I don't have to remain hungry until he eats. We like to eat dinner together, and since I do get home before he does I tend to just make dinner for the both of us however our understanding is that we both have a responsibility to each other to ensure that the other party is not starving at the end of the day. My Aunt was appalled! Funny enough, Bo came to pick me up from the restaurant, I asked if he was hungry he said yes and we came home and both in the kitchen made stir-fry. He was glad I stuck around the kitchen. That was that. My aunt didn't understand that it was entirely possible for me to eat and enjoy dinner without bothering myself and worrying and preparing my husband's food first. I think it's important to be open-minded, and light-hearted about these things. Whatever works best for my husband and I and the lifestyle we lead is what I will do. I have no interest in being my husband's mother, he's got a very capable mother! I'm his hot, sexy, interesting, intelligent, funny babe, Ha!