Hello guys. I swear I haven’t abandoned this blog I’ve just been extremely busy with work and with my applications for grad school. Plus you just add the hustle and bustle of Lagos plus the fact that the Internet has essentially gone out in most places, plus the few weeks I was down with malaria; it just makes blogging a little bit more difficult. But I’ve been thinking about you all and felt a little sad that no one has commented on the few last posts and no one has asked of me ☹. I don’t have time to blog but I check up on the blog every now and then ☹ either way I’ve missed you all!
Before I continue I’d just like to say to my fellow blogger who lost her father a week or two ago, my sincere condolences and you and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong, those we love are not gone but they are saving our nice warm seat by the bosom of our Lord for when that time (be it long) comes.
Ok, now why didn’t my more experienced fellow bloggers warn me about this funny monster called engagement? Lol. There are so many things that happen that just leaves me incredulous! But I love this whole process. I’ve never felt closer to Bolaji and everytime any one of these strange incidents happen, I just look at him and I feel reassured and happy that I get to experience these things with my best friend.
One of the stranger things that has happened is that all of a sudden recently, Bolaji has been showing extremely strange behaviours. For example, the Bolaji I know is the sweetest, most considerate, and kind person I know. This is someone that calls the waiter back to tell him that he has omitted a N3000 item on our bill or someone who after I’ve chucked the magazine I was checking out in the store on some random rack, picks it up and goes and puts it back in its place. But recently, homeboy has just been exhibiting strange behaviours that seem uncaring at the least. When I’m sick I’m usually very baby-ish and want and need a lot of attention and just really hugs. One particular night the malaria got so bad and I was feeling nauseous and very ill so I kept on repeating over and over that I felt really bad and felt like throwing up. Bolaji’s response was to tell me that it’s all in the mind, that I should just relax and it would go away, imagine that! Anyway let me just cut the story short and say that that same night he ended up snapping at me in a very bad way. I’d never seen that, from anyone before. How can you snap at a sick person? Gosh, we were so rocked by this event. I started to think to myself, this man cannot fulfil the vow of “in sickness and in health” nope, there’s no way. That night I went back to sleep on the couch and Bolaji came to me and pleaded and pleaded, saying he didn’t know what came over him and that he’s sorry. While I don’t know about that, this man IS going to be my husband so I said to him, I NEVER want to see that person I saw this evening again, if you say you’re sorry, I’m gonna believe you and forgive you. So that’s how we resolved that issue. He really tries you know, and I understand that. Nobody’s perfect and we need someone who would still stick with us when our ugly bits are showing. I love my babe.
The other strange engagement development I MUST mention is that people now randomly give us like explicit sexual advice. I just don't understand it. One of my aunties who's has been my favorite aunt from when i was very little just started telling us about condom use and withdrawal methods and having sex without a condom. It was weird. She also decided as a woman she should also give me pointers about pleasing my husband! As in really! I think Bolaji wanted to open up the ground and enter it just about then. I just don't get it, did any of you experience this as well, or is this just a quaint characteristic of MY family? Lol.
And then I have to say I’m not truly enjoying the inlaw process. Really if you think about it, one set of parents is stressful enough, then to add another set? Sheesh. Don’t get me wrong, they’re nice but since I don’t know how to kinda manoeuvre with them like I do my own parents, I think it’s a really difficult thing to do. Last week I went over to my inlaws to start discussing guest lists and budgets and all of that kinda stuff. My white wedding is going to be a destination wedding to a place that I’ve just always loved and dreamed I was going to get married in. As we were talking, Bolaji’s dad then asks me “I just want to ask to make sure, but is it that you want a headline wedding? As in Mr. So and So’s son weds in DESTINATION”. Bolaji’s family is a bit well-known but I was so offended by this suggestion. I don’t know. I didn’t know how to react. If I wanted a “headline wedding” I would have done it in Lagos! It’s just been very challenging the whole way around. I can’t wait for us to be married and start building our own family and traditions.
All through all of this, my babe wakes me up in the morning two days ago singing, “Could you be, the most beautiful girl in the world. Can’t u see, you’re the reason why God made a girl…” to me. How can I not be thankful I have this man in my life. Moments like that I just sit to myself and wonder, how did I win this lottery? How did I find real and true love like this? God loves me ☺))
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