Saturday, June 27, 2009

Now What?

Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thanks to everyone for their well-wishes, I really appreciated it and even though I've only been blogging for a short while, makes me feel like a part of the blogville family!

Ahh, so today's exactly one week since i've been engaged. Hmmm, how has it been?

Several things actually. The first is apparently not everyone is happy at the news of their friend getting engaged. I told some of my girlfriends and their retort was just "cool". Which is odd. These are girls I went to college with. We've done everything together for a while now. They know everything I've put on this blog and they were the first ones I told after Bolaji and I had only been dating for two months "I think he's the one". At first I was kinda like "ooookay?" but now I'm just over it. One of my closest friends just told me "you know what? no matter what their reaction was it doesn't change the fact that you're getting married!" LOL. I like that attitude and have adopted it.

Second, I was in shock for like the first day and then I just got happier and happier. That has been a wonderful surprise. And to think there's still tooons more of happy stuff to happen, it's amazing! I keep staring at my ring at odd hours of the day. I'll be going over a brief and just take two seconds to stop and stare at the thing and smile.

Third, in-laws! I love Bolaji's Dad. He's just like way cool. He's very brilliant, very knowledgeable but also quite approachable. Of course it helps that whenever he sees me he always goes "hey Kemi-babe" lol. Very cool dude. Now Bolaji's mom scares me so! Not that she's mean or anything like that towards me. It's just that she's kinda the backbone of everything so I'm afraid if I cross her, I'm just in for it, so I'm always so extra careful when I'm around her. Also Bolaji is veery close to his Mom, not in a Mama's boy kinda way (as i don't think his mother would even stand for that!) but they can sit and gist for hours and he tells her everything (or used to, i'm not sure anymore). But she's so sweet too, I don't know why I'm scared of her lol. She's also very well grounded in Christanity and very principled AND blunt, so you can imagine that's a deadly combo lol. Someone told me every girl should have a healthy dose of fear for her mother-in-law :-) Also I'm not quite sure what I should call them now. Bolaji says I should just ask them what they'd like to be called, I ran it by my mother and her response was "ABSOLUTELY NOT, they're your mom and dad and you call them mom and dad". She thinks asking them is rude, what do you guys think?

FOURTH, although Bolaji and I are looking at a bit of a long engagement, I'm already getting bits of wedding fever and it's only been a week! I've gotten mixed reactions on the long engagement thing. My mother is fervently praying that something comes up to put a wrench in that plan. The woman wants more grandbabies! :-) I just don't see how we could fit it in any shorter, between Bolaji's work, my work and travel, and planning for grad school, then us paying for our wedding ourselves. It seems impossible but we'll see. That being said, it's not stopping wedding fever from gripping me. I've already started looking into locations and things like that, mostly because Bolaji and I have decided to find approximate costs of 1st and 2nd options and then find which one fits better into our budget. I think I'd like to do that as soon as possible.

FIFTH, somehow having my ring makes me feel more like a woman. Like I've grown into myself. It's a bit odd as it's just a thing, a material thing. I don't know how to explain it, I just feel like wherever I go because I have this symbol on my finger I have to represent both of us in the best light possible. Before I didn't have that, I just walked about anyhow just being me but now I feel like anywhere I am and how I am is a reflection of Bolaji as well. This is exciting and new and different. Also I have this amazing feeling, like I'm just so excited about building a life with this person, all the experiences we're gonna have together, the rough times, the good times, the time my water breaks for our first child, when the last child graduates from college, our professional goals and dreams for ourselves being realized. I feel like a beautiful new phase in my life is now opened.

Last, God is good to me. He's faithful to me. I testify He's a good God.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I guess everyone can guess what i'm about to say....I'm engaged!!!! I have my lovely lovely diamond ring and I'm so unbelievably happy. Ok, should I give you the gist? Wait for it, wait for it... :-) ok, i'm just joking now, here it is:

So my babe calls me up friday night and says, "how do you feel about coming down to London?" I really hate to fly so I'm very reluctant about this idea. Besides, I thought he was gonna come down. He tells me that he tried to buy a ticket to where I am, but last minute found out that he needs a visa which he doesn't have so if we're to see each other, I'm gonna have to come down. I reluctantly agreed and he booked the ticket for first thing Saturday morning. Now knowing how i've been counting down and with all my false starts and everything driving me crazy, I just decided not to dwell very much on the ring and proposal, but just think of being with my baby! We've been apart for soo long now :-) and I missed him. Bolaji comes to meet me at the airport and I was so happy to see my boo! Really, he was clean shaven and I thought he looked so nice :-) Driving along, we come across this waterside with a long walkway (I really don't know where this is as I'm not a London native!), Bolaji stops the car and says he wants walk along the water cuz he has never been to that side of town before. Funny enough, with all my ring watch, I didn't even think anything of it. My fiance (hehehe) loves nature and hiking, and camping, and long walks and that sort so it wasn't really out of character for him. Plus, we had done just that many times before, driving then seeing a nice body of water and just stopping and walking along the water.

The only difference this time is I just got off the plane! I was a little bit tired and just soo not in the mood. lol. I kept on asking, why? Even half way I turned back and was like, i don't want to go anymore! He sha kept on urging me and then when we got to the end of the walkway he started saying all these things about how he wanted to take that long walk with me to symbolize how he wanted to share my journey of life with me, the ups and downs and everythng, and then he got down. At this point I couldn't say anything else, I was trying to get him to stand up, lol, like "what are you doing? get up, get up", lol. He was beautiful and it was beautiful. I love my babe/my boo/my boyfie/my fiance sooo much :-) being with him makes life fuller and easier and better. I did well ladies! I'm marrying a FABULOUS gentleman. I thank the Holy Father, God, I thank you soo much for leading me to this point, for leading me to this man. I exhalt your name because you are faithful and you have been faithful to me throughout my life. "To'o wo, ko de ri pe rere l'Oluwa"

I'm so happy. It's funny, my experience was that initially, I think I was in shock. So for much of the day, I just went about my business as usual, doing the mundane things. As in really mundane things o and several times during the day, I would just stop and I kept on saying, I can't believe it, I can't believe it. And now as I'm getting used to it all, I'm just so unbelievably happy. It's been getting better as the hours roll by. God is to be praised guys.

Here's a similar ring to mine, though not quite the same and I'm definitely not white :-) Enjoy!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Countdown? You Tell Me!

Friday, June 19, 2009
So I've completely calmed down. No more drama in my paradise, lol. Things have been really good.

Guess what? Bolaji is in London, like right now!!! I'm not in UK, but somewhere in the vicinity so he's very close. I tried asking him whether he would come and visit but he keeps saying he's on a very tight budget and most likely won't make it :o( I don't understand that though, it is relatively quite cheap to get from London to where I am and if someone's gonna fly alll the way from Lagos, what's the extra few pounds? Still, I guess I understand. I'm definitely the money-spender in this relationship lol, my babe saves (invests) 70% of his income, can you imagine that??? I've enjoyed that savings from from time to time so I'm not even gonna complain. I didn't even know he was going to travel. Some training course had come up and though he wanted to go, we discussed it and he said he wasn't going to be able to make it. And then all of a sudden last week, he said he was gonna come. And then, he said he was gonna spend some time looking around in dubai. Since Emirates is the cheapest airline to London from Lagos, he would just take the opportunity to visit dubai. Which is just weird but okay. I don't want to put the cart before the horse. I hope he's not going to dubai to buy ring, lol. Something about Dubai jewellry always seems off to me.

And thennnnn, we were randomly talking and he says "oh, your mom won't mind, i'm her favourite person in the world right now". So I'm like...hmmmm....I asked him why and he said "oh, I helped her run some errands at the bank". Okay....Anyway, so that's where you find me ooo. Juggling so many balls in the air. I have deadlines at work, writing essays for grad school, trying to sort out a medical issue, and driving myself crazy with my ring watch. So nerve wracking! lol.

How do people go through this stuff without loosing their minds?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Close Call/No One Tells You

Tuesday, June 16, 2009
How come no one tells you that relationships are a lot more than those Fabio-covered Hallequin romance novels?

I must have chosen a really interesting time for me to start this blog because my relationship right now keeps getting hit just from nowhere! But I'm glad to say we're fine and still ticking :-) If you will recall, a few posts ago, I mentioned that Bolaji and I had a little disagreement and I felt confused and he felt hurt? And then I updated with how we've kissed and made up? So just a couple of days ago, my babe calls me and says "how do you think our relationship is going?" Hmmm, with my heart racing I tell him what is in my heart. I'm thinking, what is he trying to get at? and the panic is building inside of me. See we always have what I call "relationship check-ins" that is when we just talk about our relationship so far and if there are anything either party does, or has done in recent times that are not so....endearing. I love this talks because we get to connect, and there's a chance to air out concerns or grievances in a calm, loving way. To anyone reading out there, COMMUNICATION IS KEY! I really believe in it.

Anyway, so after airing my mind to Bolaji, he takes a deep breath.....(suspense right?), he takes a deep breath and says, well, there are some things I've realized that I haven't dealt with. He goes on to tell me about something I said to him a while back. He said it's always stuck with him and he just wants to kinda talk about it and understand where I was coming from. After talking to him for a while I just started getting upset internally. Not because of anything he said, but I was wondering why did he have to bring this up now? why not a while ago? To make matters worse, I was so tired and it was truly late and I had an early morning the next day, so I just told him I wanted to go sleep. I knew that would create some tension as we've been very good with not "letting the sun set on anger". The next morning Bolaji emailed me and texted me but I just didn't feel like talking. I guess I was retreating to myself. Now if there's anything about my babe, he is not happy with just staying angry, he says that's not good enough and always wants to talk things through and figure it out. So he called me and called me and I finally picked up. He was sooo freaked out and worried that I was shutting him out and was thinking of ending the relationship.

I don't even know why I got really upset and confused at the conversation. I have no clue. I felt like I needed space and I have to admit I started to think to myself of why am I in this and am I happy, I can still break it off....all this weird thoughts. I know its not really about Bolaji, I don't know if it's the distance, this is the longest we've been apart. We just talked and he kept on reassuring me of his love and commitment and said "Baby, I want to be with you for the rest of my life". That made me smile. :-) I love him very much, I don't know where this freakout came from.

Anybody else out there, when your relationship became REALLY serious and it became evident that a proposal or marriage was in the offing soon, did you get nervous and freak out about it all? Two girlfriends of mine did so I know it's not so rare. But Bolaji did something really bad though during our conversation, he told me he had gone to his parents over the weekend to tell them he is going to propose to me. After that, I just went "la la la la i don't want to hear any more, no more, if it's about marriage, proposal, ring, i don't want to hear anymore". lol. He said before he proposed and I said yes and we began this journey, he just wanted to make sure it was started on a fresh footing and everything in his heart was out and everything in my heart was out, so nothing would be holding us back. Which is reasonable.

I was just thinking about it this morning though, isn't it true that when something good is about to happen in our lives, the devil just finds a way to mess it up? I have a great man whom I love, he loves me, we've had this wonderful relationship for the past 2 years and never had a fight really, never raised voices ever, and I've been wanting to marry and anxious for a ring and when it all seems about to happen, a freakout over something simple. I have to be extremely prayerful methinks.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Picture Show

Saturday, June 13, 2009
So I finally got off my butt and went out of my hotel room today. It was a nice beautiful day and I'm just so grateful to have this day off. It's quite serene and peaceful. I decided I was gonna do some running, just put on my joggers, grabbed my water bottle and ran. So I took some pics like I promised in my last post.

Here's the pic of the park adjacent to the hotel. The pictures aren't too clear cuz I was taking them with my mobile phone, but I still wanted to share of my beautiful day.

And this is the church that's on the other side of the park. I love this church because it's so small and cute and the doors are always open. The sun is messing up the pic though.

still on my way, I love these buildings cuz they seem so European.

Such a nice coastal town. After running for a little bit, I decided to just walk the rest of the way to the seaside. I saw two lovebirds by the edge of the water embracing and the guy kissed the girl's forehead. It made me miss my babe. Awww...

Now look how clear the water is! It's so beautiful, doesn't it make you want to go for a nice cool dip?

and then I saw these on my way back.

Ahh. So that's it! I promised and I delivered! I can't show too many pictures though so I don't reveal myself. Bolaji keeps threatening to go and look for or search for this blog. I told him about it, that I was starting it and I was going to write about our relationship, but I also made him vow not to ever go looking for it or to read it. lol. Today he was trying to use style for me and ask me leading questions but I refused to even answer any of them. I just want to be really honest on this blog and if he reads it I would feel so guarded. So sorry to my babe. :-)

Speaking of my babe (of course) I looove this song and everytime I hear it brings tears to my eyes. This is probably my favorite Beyonce song to date. I used to really like Dangerously In Love but this beats that for me. I just think of Bolaji and how special he makes me feel and how also he's my "saving grace". I'm sure Beyonce wrote this with JayZ in mind. Speaking of Beyonce & JayZ that's another couple I admire so maybe I'll do a post on them soon. But back to the matter at hand, If I'm getting married within the next two years, I think I'd like this song to be my first dance with my husband. It's so beautiful. As I was walking back today, I was just singing out loud. People must have thought I was crazy :-)!

Love Life. Love God. Love Your Neighbour.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Woohoo! Weekend!

Friday, June 12, 2009
ok, so first things first. After the last post, I went to bed feeling really down about it all. I sent a text to my babe before going to bed and just left everything to God. But feeling really bad you know. The next day Bolaji was also travelling for work and had to catch the first flight. I woke up a bit angry and depressed but just wanted to work through all the emotions. It just came to me that this was my man. He needs me as much as I need him. I want to be there for him and support him and be his best friend. I always remind myself of the commitment I made to myself regarding this relationship and really all of my relationships. Which is never to walk away, never to turn the other side on my partner, not in anger, not in anything. I sit in and we work it out. Even if one of us doesn't feel like talking, then we just come together and agree to go over it later. So I thought to myself, it's times like this that your bond is really proven and built.

So I texted my babe and he called me back sometime later. We talked about how he was feeling and how I was feeling and how we felt about each other. I really feel he heard where I was coming from and we just arrived at a compromise. I always close out my mails with Bolaji with "I love my baby" and I really do!

So moving on....whew it's FRIDAY!!! Unfortunately I don't know anyone in this here city so I'm just sitting watching THS Renee Zellweger. LOL. Maybe I'll take a walk in the park and smell the roses, I'll try and take a pic and post for you guys.

Oooh, also, I was talking to Bolaji and he was talking about visiting his financial planner and taking stock of his finances, that maybe he'll come and meet me somewhere. So as my friends are now tired of, i'm starting another ring/proposal watch! Don't get too excited though, cuz I've had a few false alarms. Ha. Leave me o, I'm just enjoying this time in my life jare. :-)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Too Long

Wednesday, June 10, 2009
It's been a few days since my last post. At least I tried to warn when I mentioned that work was getting heavy over here! I wasn't lying. Quite busy and a bit of travelling so I didn't have access to the internet or simply don't have the time. But today I said I must update.

Nothing much going on. I'm hoping the shocker of myself and Bolaji not actually being married didn't scare everyone off...yikes! This blog really was started with me wanting to write about this process of finding the right man, the right person, and all the ups and downs that go with it. I used to think, and I think a lot of ladies out there think of love and romance in terms of the fairy tales that go around and the chick flicks that we all watch. My experience has been not less than that, but much more than that. I've been surprised and shocked, and my person has been tested, I've stood up and I've backed down. I want this blog to just be a simple, kind, honest story.

So I had this whole nice sweet post planned out but I'm shelving that for now. Relationships are hard ooo. Every now and then I have to admit I get periods where I'm like why am I in this again? I think, boy, I miss those days of carefree singledom. Today's just a tough one. Bolaji talk about everything but recently we've just been disagreeing on career moves. His career moves to be specific. All the qualities I love about him as a man are exactly the ones I want him to put into his back pocket the minute he steps into an office! Workplace environment and politics just simply require you to open eye, ears, and mouth. But my Bolaji is not like that. He believes in the good of everyone, in all those positive things and just has endless hope in everyone. Me, I'm not like that! Not that I'm wicked but I believe in utmost professionalism at all times, and i believe you have to have a merry balance between aggressiveness and passiveness in the workplace. So we argue and go back and forth on this issue. I try as much to stay silent and supportive. Today wasn't such a good day. I just let him know how I really feel about it and I think he's a little hurt about it. Now I feel terrible. Should I have said anything or just keep my true feelings bottled up? How do I maintain this balance? Afterall it's not me and it's not my job right? However I'm thinking into the future, his choices today will affect our futures wouldn't it?

I'm so confused and sad I hurt my baby this evening.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I Do, Don't I?

Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wow, the last 24hours have been very busy. The project I came here to do has been intensifying and I just didn't have that much time to myself. Right now it's 1am and I just finished looking over one of our documents and heading to sleep veeeery soon, lol.

So what's been going on? Well, as well as busy with work, yesterday was a bit of a strange one. Now hang on to your seats ladies (or fellas as the case may be!), cue the drumroll...contrary to what some of the comments I've had so far (by my new lovely blog ladies!) have assumed, Bolaji and I are not married ooooo! We're not even engaged. Now this may come as a surprise or thicken the plot to make this blog more interesting *giggle*. Bolaji and I are just two lovebirds who've been dating for about 2 years now in total. I know sometimes, when I talk (oops, write) it sounds like we're already married with children! It's just that we've talked about so many of these things that I can very easily recall how either he or I feel about an issue.

Now you see I knew just a few months into the relationship that this man is the one for me. It hit me like a ton of bricks really. But there he was and there I was and I just felt it and I still feel it just as strongly today as I did then. Now many of you may wonder, so if you guys knew waaay back then then why the time? Well that's one of the reasons yesterday was such a strange one. We've been having this back and forth thing for a while. Bolaji says I'm his wife. I say I know he's my husband. Bolaji I think wants a big wedding. I want a small one. Bolaji doesn't have the kind of extra income for a big wedding yet so he suggests we do an introduction/engagement thingy and then do the wedding later. Now, I say we can do introduction/engagement thingy oooo, but I want my grand proposal and my ring first. No ring, no preparation. Finish. It's been kind of a stalemate from there on out. I get time periods when I think to myself maybe I should just go do thing but everytime I think that, I think to myself why compromise on my ideals??? You see I've always thought to myself, when the whole wedding discussion ever comes up for me, it would NOT be like a discussion thing like a lot of Nigerian couples do, but a real proposal, with a real ring, and all of that. So now I have the guy but not the proposal what do I do?

Yesterday I was down again cuz I was thinking well how long do I have to wait for the ring/proposal??? It's been a while abi? Talking to Bolaji, he noticed something was wrong in my voice and asked me what it was. Since we made a vow to each other to always tell each other everything even if it was uncomfortable or difficult, or taboo, or anything, just spill it and then we deal with it from there. So I had to tell him what I was thinking. He just went into the whole Intro/Engagmt thing again. I'm thinking to myself, why oh why can't you just budget and buy my ring already? Or is something wrong? Am I missing something? After that conversation, I picked up my Bible and started to read and as always the words soothed my soul.

I've left everything to God. He created me and knows where he's taking me. Everything will be alright.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Tuesday, June 2, 2009
So one of the real reasons for me to start this blog is to be able to muse over some of the less than pretty things or the too overly mushy things. Things that maybe I don't want to admit to myself yet or not.

Anyway, this morning I little bug came to sit on my shoulders and I'm feeling like I've got to bug Bolaji and to talk about it and figure it out. What's this bug you ask? Well, this time away is starting to make me realize something that I haven't really thought deeply about. Whenever we meet new people, I find that inevitably someone would ask me about how whether we've decided to settle in Lagos or not. I usually just say well, "Bolaji loves it but me I'm not so in love with it anymore" and I just let the conversation end there.

I mean we've talked about it before. I told him some of my fears with living in Nigeria and raising a family in Nigeria. I told him of how I've only lived abroad (until two years ago) and identify more with there than I do Nigeria. I told him how I want my children to have a similar upbringing as me with all what I perceive the benefits to be: diversity, encouragement to challenge authority, exposure to different endeavours (i don't want I want to be a doctor, lawyer children lack of imagination), and I told him how I want my girl child experiencing all the stereotypes women experience in Nigeria. I even told Bolaji that if we lived in London we'd have a slightly different relationship. In Nigeria too many people are involved all the time and feel they have the right to dictate where and when our relationship should go. I'm not saying its wrong, I'm just saying I've spent my entire life outside of Nigeria so I don't really connect with it like others do. Bolaji of course told me his side. He likes the Nigerian community. He likes the studiousness of a Nigerian child. He likes the opportunity to build wealth. Nigeria is home to Bolaji. And that morning as we talked, we didn't resolve anything. I just thought to myself, I would follow this man to wherever and together we'd make it home.

You see now, on this trip, now, this bug comes to land on my shoulder. I love this life. This is what I know. The easy going, lego-world of this foreign land. I miss it. I walked through the park today. Such a lovely day. Everyone went leisurely about their business, some even greeting me nicely and vice versa. There were some young teenagers having a picnic and there were some students with their teacher and a fireman, with the fireman letting some of the boys use their hose. I saw a couple each riding one of those double pedal bikes. The woman was in front and her daughter was in the back, both peddling and giggling trying to keep the bike in order. Same with the man, he had his other daughter on the back peddling as well. It was beautiful and so calm. I don't see things like that in Lagos. That's what I want. I very hippy happy family doing whatever they damn well please. So I start thinking to myself, can I really be happy with Bolaji in Nigeria forever??? Is this what I really want? Do I have to give up the way of life I want for the way of life he wants? How do we find a compromise with this? Is there a compromise. When the time comes, will we just decide there IS no compromise?

All these thoughts reel through my head. I just bow my head and pray to God. He can make a way where there seems no way.


So I'm a light sleeper and I also don't turn my phones off when I sleep (in case of emergency). Very early this morning around 4am, I hear a beep on my phone. I'm soooo tired and didn't want to even roll over to go pick it up but i figured it might be an emergency. So through very heavy sleep ladened eyes, I read this:

Hey Babes, just got up in the middle of night and thought of you. More like I was yearning to be in your arms. I'm sure you're sound asleep but just know that you are very much loved

How lucky of me! I couldn't even write anything back, just sent a smiley and rolled back into deep sleep. I told Bolaji I was starting a blog and I told him that it was going to be about us and asked if he was alright with it. He just told me that he doesn't really have any say in it, that it's my thing but if I was asking his blessing then go ahead. And just as I was thinking oh, cool, he says "well is there something there that would upset me?" lol. I don't think there'll be anything to upset him, but I just told him I plan to chronicle our relationship, the good AND the bad so while there's nothing yet, there might be someday, who knows. I just made him promise never to search for it and never to read it lol as per dude is quite active on the blogroll and reads a number of them. I don't know if he'll ever come across this one. I hope he doesn't. I may have some 'splaining to do, lol.

Today's not such a bad day. Work occupied my mind, it's such a busy period right now. Even though I'm in a foreign land and we don't speak the same language, I've tried meeting new people and being friendly. Everyone here's so friendly! I have a funny friendship with the housekeeping staff at the hotel and one of them today was telling me her husband was leaving her for a younger woman. She says "men are bad" (rough translation lol!). I didn't know what to say to her. Not all men are bad.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Ajala Travels

Monday, June 1, 2009
I need the love of my baby to keep me warm :-( It's been one whole week and a day since I've been apart from Bolaji and it's so hard I must say. Since we started dating, I can't say we've spent up to 24 hours apart from each other! And here I am now miles and miles away from my babe :-( If it was not for this work that brought me to this city I would be some where kissing my baby's forehead or something right now, instead of sitting in this hotel room, staring at the ceiling and blogging! I can't say I'd blog that much once I get back home.

When we knew that our separation was gonna be for a sizeable amount of time we tried to make sure that we had all our communication gadgets sorted out: Smartphone? Check. Internet? Check. Roaming phone? Check. Cheaper Land Phone? Check. But it's just not the same you know. I want to hear about Bolaji's day. Who he saw and how they said what. I want to look up a fabulous recipe and decide to try it out on him as my guinea pig. I want to talk (or argue ha!) over mundane everyday issues with him. I want him to come up behind me and hug me and call me his babes :-) This long distance thing is tough ooooo! But only for a short while sha.

When I was leaving a few friends of mine kinda hinted at my craziness for leaving my wicked good man all alone in Lagos for the sharks to feed. Sometimes I get little anxieties about that but I have to say that I'm not very bothered. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that the ladylagos sharks won't have thier fangs out in louboutin heels, but I'm saying, what God has ordained for me will be for me and no one would be able to "take him" away from me. As we said goodbye at the airport and I was crying, Bolaji wiped my tears and said "I'll be good". I didn't even ask him or say anything like that and he just offered. He knows my fears sometimes lol. I trust him to be good. I trust him to make the right decisions for us.

It sounds crazy but Bolaji didn't even believe that people cheated like they do in Lagos...that is until I started pointing it out to him. Then he was shocked! Lol. Sometimes I feel bad like I should just let him live in the sheltered cocoon he has. But then other times I think, better I tell him so he can be on the lookout than have some stanky LagosBadBabe show him, u know what i'm saying? Lol. I love my baby!

Barack And Me

Ok so maybe I should introduce this right away. This blog is gonna feature Barack and Michelle A LOT (almost exclusively). I am blown away and in love with the way Barack and Michelle have built and sustained their relationship. It is at once inspiring and charming. When I look at a pic of them I think of Bolaji and I. In their pictures, with the smiling faces and the holding hands, I see what I want us to become. I truly feel strongly in my bones that we can do it. We can navigate the very shark infested waters of romance and love and build this strong bond together that will just burst out in shining glory to all who come in contact with us. Bolaji is a very ambitious person. So bright and articulate and just with the warmest heart ever. He has such big dreams and wants to conquer the world. I'm here for him. I'm also quite ambitious, with my own set of dreams and goals, career wise. Whenever he and I put our heads and tackle an issue???'s done!!! No competition whatsoever. And that's one of the most magical things about our bond. The way we can so intrinsically tackle anything as a team. I'm really inspired by these two to build a bond such as theirs. I think we can do it, my Bolaji and I. I think we can be the next Barack and Michelle :-)

Meanwhile, here's this article about the real Obamas. Apparently this was done a loooooooong time ago, even before they had the kids. Listen to how they talk about each other. It's not mushy. It's real. It shows real consideration, respect, and commitment. That's what's so sweet about these two! So enjoy.....

A Couple in Chicago
by Mariana Cook
January 19, 2009 Text Size:
Small Text
Medium Text
Large Text Print E-Mail Feeds

Related Links
Mariana Cook’s official Web site
(Pres.) Barack Obama; Michelle Obama; Marriage; Politics; Presidents; First Ladies; Relationships On May 26, 1996, Mariana Cook visited Barack and Michelle Obama in Hyde Park as part of a photography project on couples in America. What follows is excerpted from her interviews with them.

MICHELLE OBAMA: There is a strong possibility that Barack will pursue a political career, although it’s unclear. There is a little tension with that. I’m very wary of politics. I think he’s too much of a good guy for the kind of brutality, the skepticism.

When you are involved in politics, your life is an open book, and people can come in who don’t necessarily have good intent. I’m pretty private, and like to surround myself with people that I trust and love. In politics you’ve got to open yourself to a lot of different people. There is a possibility that our futures will go that way, even though I want to have kids and travel, spend time with family, and like spending time with friends. But we are going to be busy people doing lots of stuff. And it’ll be interesting to see what life has to offer. In many ways, we are here for the ride, just sort of seeing what opportunities open themselves up. And the more you experiment the easier it is to do different things. If I had stayed in a law firm and made partner, my life would be completely different. I wouldn’t know the people I know, and I would be more risk-averse. Barack has helped me loosen up and feel comfortable with taking risks, not doing things the traditional way and sort of testing it out, because that is how he grew up. I’m more traditional; he’s the one in the couple that, I think, is the less traditional individual. You can probably tell from the photographs—he’s just more out there, more flamboyant. I’m more, like, “Well, let’s wait and see. What did that look like? How much does it weigh?”

BARACK OBAMA: All my life, I have been stitching together a family, through stories or memories or friends or ideas. Michelle has had a very different background—very stable, two-parent family, mother at home, brother and dog, living in the same house all their lives. We represent two strands of family life in this country—the strand that is very stable and solid, and then the strand that is breaking out of the constraints of traditional families, travelling, separated, mobile. I think there was that strand in me of imagining what it would be like to have a stable, solid, secure family life.

Michelle is a tremendously strong person, and has a very strong sense of herself and who she is and where she comes from. But I also think in her eyes you can see a trace of vulnerability that most people don’t know, because when she’s walking through the world she is this tall, beautiful, confident woman. There is a part of her that is vulnerable and young and sometimes frightened, and I think seeing both of those things is what attracted me to her. And then what sustains our relationship is I’m extremely happy with her, and part of it has to do with the fact that she is at once completely familiar to me, so that I can be myself and she knows me very well and I trust her completely, but at the same time she is also a complete mystery to me in some ways. And there are times when we are lying in bed and I look over and sort of have a start. Because I realize here is this other person who is separate and different and has different memories and backgrounds and thoughts and feelings. It’s that tension between familiarity and mystery that makes for something strong, because, even as you build a life of trust and comfort and mutual support, you retain some sense of surprise or wonder about the other person.

An Unexpected Love - Story of Us

This blog is not about anything else but a story of love. A story between to lovers brought together by fate by providence by whatever. This blog is chronicling a girl's emotions as she passes through all the different phases of this love and how she herself molds her world, her life in order to accomodate this grand theme of love.

I can give you a loooong background of how Bolaji and met but I'd save those details for later perhaps. Suffice it to say it took us a looooong time to get where we are now. It sounds like one of those storybook stories but I confess that I didn't plan it like that, it just....happened! I had been dating all kinds of guys. Guys who disappear. Guys who reappear just for a while. Guys who are scared to commit. Guys who are not scared to commit to several women. All sorts. I was even starting to think, this Lagos, one should just hold yourself and be very careful. Truth be told, I wasn't really looking for anyone. I sort of knew what I wanted and was willing to wait it out to get it or not at all. I wrote all the qualities I wanted in a partner down, and set about becoming the kind of person that kind of man would want. So if i want a funny, down to earth, ambitious partner, I got to work on me first! To make sure I can appreciate humour, to make sure that I wasn't snobby or stuck up, and to really look into my own professional goals. So I set about that. And then a friend, Bolaji, walked into my life. And since then, has stolen my breath away. Thought me to love someone fully and completely. You see I wasn't even attracted to Bolaji to begin with. So we only settled on friendship and from that friendship my most cherished endeavour has grown.

So that, in a convoluted way is our story!
Till My Dying Day © 2008. Design by Pocket