Saturday, June 27, 2009

Now What?

Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thanks to everyone for their well-wishes, I really appreciated it and even though I've only been blogging for a short while, makes me feel like a part of the blogville family!

Ahh, so today's exactly one week since i've been engaged. Hmmm, how has it been?

Several things actually. The first is apparently not everyone is happy at the news of their friend getting engaged. I told some of my girlfriends and their retort was just "cool". Which is odd. These are girls I went to college with. We've done everything together for a while now. They know everything I've put on this blog and they were the first ones I told after Bolaji and I had only been dating for two months "I think he's the one". At first I was kinda like "ooookay?" but now I'm just over it. One of my closest friends just told me "you know what? no matter what their reaction was it doesn't change the fact that you're getting married!" LOL. I like that attitude and have adopted it.

Second, I was in shock for like the first day and then I just got happier and happier. That has been a wonderful surprise. And to think there's still tooons more of happy stuff to happen, it's amazing! I keep staring at my ring at odd hours of the day. I'll be going over a brief and just take two seconds to stop and stare at the thing and smile.

Third, in-laws! I love Bolaji's Dad. He's just like way cool. He's very brilliant, very knowledgeable but also quite approachable. Of course it helps that whenever he sees me he always goes "hey Kemi-babe" lol. Very cool dude. Now Bolaji's mom scares me so! Not that she's mean or anything like that towards me. It's just that she's kinda the backbone of everything so I'm afraid if I cross her, I'm just in for it, so I'm always so extra careful when I'm around her. Also Bolaji is veery close to his Mom, not in a Mama's boy kinda way (as i don't think his mother would even stand for that!) but they can sit and gist for hours and he tells her everything (or used to, i'm not sure anymore). But she's so sweet too, I don't know why I'm scared of her lol. She's also very well grounded in Christanity and very principled AND blunt, so you can imagine that's a deadly combo lol. Someone told me every girl should have a healthy dose of fear for her mother-in-law :-) Also I'm not quite sure what I should call them now. Bolaji says I should just ask them what they'd like to be called, I ran it by my mother and her response was "ABSOLUTELY NOT, they're your mom and dad and you call them mom and dad". She thinks asking them is rude, what do you guys think?

FOURTH, although Bolaji and I are looking at a bit of a long engagement, I'm already getting bits of wedding fever and it's only been a week! I've gotten mixed reactions on the long engagement thing. My mother is fervently praying that something comes up to put a wrench in that plan. The woman wants more grandbabies! :-) I just don't see how we could fit it in any shorter, between Bolaji's work, my work and travel, and planning for grad school, then us paying for our wedding ourselves. It seems impossible but we'll see. That being said, it's not stopping wedding fever from gripping me. I've already started looking into locations and things like that, mostly because Bolaji and I have decided to find approximate costs of 1st and 2nd options and then find which one fits better into our budget. I think I'd like to do that as soon as possible.

FIFTH, somehow having my ring makes me feel more like a woman. Like I've grown into myself. It's a bit odd as it's just a thing, a material thing. I don't know how to explain it, I just feel like wherever I go because I have this symbol on my finger I have to represent both of us in the best light possible. Before I didn't have that, I just walked about anyhow just being me but now I feel like anywhere I am and how I am is a reflection of Bolaji as well. This is exciting and new and different. Also I have this amazing feeling, like I'm just so excited about building a life with this person, all the experiences we're gonna have together, the rough times, the good times, the time my water breaks for our first child, when the last child graduates from college, our professional goals and dreams for ourselves being realized. I feel like a beautiful new phase in my life is now opened.

Last, God is good to me. He's faithful to me. I testify He's a good God.


downtheaisle said...

I'm gla u have a reason to say God is good.
for ur friends, i don't think its a big deal, whether they like it or nt u r getting married and dat's it.s to wat to call ur in-laws, I bet mom and dad is best oooo, I'm sure ur fiance will even like it that u r getting to be part of the family and not just their daughter-in-law

yankeenaijababe said...

O yes sister, not everyone is going to be happy that your engaged. You know why? levels don change big time, you now promised to your man and they still in the dating phase. I experienced what you talking of, not all my girlfriends were happy, it's a big acheivement to get the ring so definitely some people are going to be jealous. It shows your love is real and not the boyfriend/girlfriend phase anymore, even worse is now that you can't gist your female friends about guys anymore cos they just won't take you serious, you have the ring.

I know the feeling you experiencing, it's like a new chapter of your life just began. I am in that stage now, can't wait to be married and start the whole children, career, cooking for each other and all those sweet things. Being engaged gives you a different vision of life, it's like you have been promoted from in a relationship to almost Married.

Inlaws can suck at times, I really love my fiance parents especially his mum, his dad is a little bit wierd. Sometimes I just want to hug him forever, other times am so freaked out by his serious mood. Chei!!! Don't mess with this guy o.

You enjoy the new week. I will be back.

NewLife said...

kemi kemi, I'm so happy for you, short time blogging ke? no o lol
I remember these emotions that you are feeling all too well. Being with the one you love is a really beautiful thing, I like that you are realistic because there will be some challenging times, but you will be grateful for them because they make your relationship even deeper.

Friends are weird during this phase, try not to take it too personally. Once you do get married, some will simply disappear, some will cling to you even more, be careful be prayerful and use wisdom in EVERYTHING you do in life.
I know ultimately you need the finance for the ceremony, but please and please dont make the engagement period too long, things happen, life happens, if and when a union is blessed by God, the enemy keeps busy. Make getting married a priority, all the work and grad school will work out. Be prepared and be open in this journey, changes will come and you just readjust. God bless you darling.
Thanks for stopping by

Kemi said...

@dta, I've finally just asked them and they said "Dad will be fine and we're so priviledged to gain a lovely daughter such as yourself". I'm so happy, God is good to me :) Bolaji says he can't wait till we have our first disagreement, I say me? no ooooo! I'm gonna be threading extra carefully.

@ync - isn't strange though? I really wouldn't have guessed their reactions as we've talked about this and they even joke around saying that I'm crazy for thinking I'm ready for marriage. Maybe I'll just give them some time. PS - I'm sure your in-laws LOVE you!

@newlife - Nice advice! I'm surely thinking about it now. Perhaps I need a change of attitude because I've never thought about making getting married a priority like that until you mentioned it. Thanks for your advice :-)

angelsbeauty said...

i love this: I just feel like wherever I go because I have this symbol on my finger I have to represent both of us in the best light possible.

*sigh* again... lol this is like my adult story book!!!! :)

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