Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Too Long

Wednesday, June 10, 2009
It's been a few days since my last post. At least I tried to warn when I mentioned that work was getting heavy over here! I wasn't lying. Quite busy and a bit of travelling so I didn't have access to the internet or simply don't have the time. But today I said I must update.

Nothing much going on. I'm hoping the shocker of myself and Bolaji not actually being married didn't scare everyone off...yikes! This blog really was started with me wanting to write about this process of finding the right man, the right person, and all the ups and downs that go with it. I used to think, and I think a lot of ladies out there think of love and romance in terms of the fairy tales that go around and the chick flicks that we all watch. My experience has been not less than that, but much more than that. I've been surprised and shocked, and my person has been tested, I've stood up and I've backed down. I want this blog to just be a simple, kind, honest story.

So I had this whole nice sweet post planned out but I'm shelving that for now. Relationships are hard ooo. Every now and then I have to admit I get periods where I'm like why am I in this again? I think, boy, I miss those days of carefree singledom. Today's just a tough one. Bolaji talk about everything but recently we've just been disagreeing on career moves. His career moves to be specific. All the qualities I love about him as a man are exactly the ones I want him to put into his back pocket the minute he steps into an office! Workplace environment and politics just simply require you to open eye, ears, and mouth. But my Bolaji is not like that. He believes in the good of everyone, in all those positive things and just has endless hope in everyone. Me, I'm not like that! Not that I'm wicked but I believe in utmost professionalism at all times, and i believe you have to have a merry balance between aggressiveness and passiveness in the workplace. So we argue and go back and forth on this issue. I try as much to stay silent and supportive. Today wasn't such a good day. I just let him know how I really feel about it and I think he's a little hurt about it. Now I feel terrible. Should I have said anything or just keep my true feelings bottled up? How do I maintain this balance? Afterall it's not me and it's not my job right? However I'm thinking into the future, his choices today will affect our futures wouldn't it?

I'm so confused and sad I hurt my baby this evening.

6 comments:

Lady A said...

Awww pookie bear!. Don't bottle your feelings, sometimes you have to play it cool and wait on the matter b4 you talk about how you feel. In this case you can't cry over spilled milk. What's done is done. Maintain balance by playing it cool. You just gotta agree to disagree and be okay with it.

yankeenaijababe said...

It takes two to play the game of Love, you can work things out with him..I am so sorry you feel this way today, try talking to your baby later, guys love being the upper hand in a relationship, later at night or in evening try talking to him again.

I love your blog by the way.

justdoyin said...

ok, i agree with the previous commenters; don't bottle up ur feelings, express them, but do so lovingly...I know how u feel now cos I've been there too, when I've said something honest to hubby n it ended up hurting him...just look for another time when he's calmer/more relaxed n apologise and lovingly explain again what you are thinking or feeling...

nice blog...my first time here...

Kemi said...

@LadyA, thanks for your advice. feeling a lot better now :-)

@YNC, i like your advice of keeping it till a little later. i know, because I see him as my best friend, my mate etc, i forget that sometimes men just well, behave like men! haha.

@justdoyin, thanks for stopping by! i really appreciate everyone's contribution, and they're sooo sound and helpful. your advice is tried, tested and true, yay.

downtheaisle said...

trust u've sorted out the issues with ur baby, to strike a balance don't ever make d mistake of bottling it up, cos it will hurt u more.I'm also learning that sometimes men will always behave as men no matter what.

angelsbeauty said...

hmm learning bottling up is not ideal... because when you eventually let go.. it is more of a bite then when you discuss at the beginning...

learning from the advices you have been given as well

PS: sorry for the spam lol.

Post a Comment

 
Till My Dying Day © 2008. Design by Pocket