Too Long

It's been a few days since my last post. At least I tried to warn when I mentioned that work was getting heavy over here! I wasn't lying. Quite busy and a bit of travelling so I didn't have access to the internet or simply don't have the time. But today I said I must update.

Nothing much going on. I'm hoping the shocker of myself and Bolaji not actually being married didn't scare everyone off...yikes! This blog really was started with me wanting to write about this process of finding the right man, the right person, and all the ups and downs that go with it. I used to think, and I think a lot of ladies out there think of love and romance in terms of the fairy tales that go around and the chick flicks that we all watch. My experience has been not less than that, but much more than that. I've been surprised and shocked, and my person has been tested, I've stood up and I've backed down. I want this blog to just be a simple, kind, honest story.

So I had this whole nice sweet post planned out but I'm shelving that for now. Relationships are hard ooo. Every now and then I have to admit I get periods where I'm like why am I in this again? I think, boy, I miss those days of carefree singledom. Today's just a tough one. Bolaji talk about everything but recently we've just been disagreeing on career moves. His career moves to be specific. All the qualities I love about him as a man are exactly the ones I want him to put into his back pocket the minute he steps into an office! Workplace environment and politics just simply require you to open eye, ears, and mouth. But my Bolaji is not like that. He believes in the good of everyone, in all those positive things and just has endless hope in everyone. Me, I'm not like that! Not that I'm wicked but I believe in utmost professionalism at all times, and i believe you have to have a merry balance between aggressiveness and passiveness in the workplace. So we argue and go back and forth on this issue. I try as much to stay silent and supportive. Today wasn't such a good day. I just let him know how I really feel about it and I think he's a little hurt about it. Now I feel terrible. Should I have said anything or just keep my true feelings bottled up? How do I maintain this balance? Afterall it's not me and it's not my job right? However I'm thinking into the future, his choices today will affect our futures wouldn't it?

I'm so confused and sad I hurt my baby this evening.