Thursday, June 4, 2009

I Do, Don't I?

Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wow, the last 24hours have been very busy. The project I came here to do has been intensifying and I just didn't have that much time to myself. Right now it's 1am and I just finished looking over one of our documents and heading to sleep veeeery soon, lol.

So what's been going on? Well, as well as busy with work, yesterday was a bit of a strange one. Now hang on to your seats ladies (or fellas as the case may be!), cue the drumroll...contrary to what some of the comments I've had so far (by my new lovely blog ladies!) have assumed, Bolaji and I are not married ooooo! We're not even engaged. Now this may come as a surprise or thicken the plot to make this blog more interesting *giggle*. Bolaji and I are just two lovebirds who've been dating for about 2 years now in total. I know sometimes, when I talk (oops, write) it sounds like we're already married with children! It's just that we've talked about so many of these things that I can very easily recall how either he or I feel about an issue.

Now you see I knew just a few months into the relationship that this man is the one for me. It hit me like a ton of bricks really. But there he was and there I was and I just felt it and I still feel it just as strongly today as I did then. Now many of you may wonder, so if you guys knew waaay back then then why the time? Well that's one of the reasons yesterday was such a strange one. We've been having this back and forth thing for a while. Bolaji says I'm his wife. I say I know he's my husband. Bolaji I think wants a big wedding. I want a small one. Bolaji doesn't have the kind of extra income for a big wedding yet so he suggests we do an introduction/engagement thingy and then do the wedding later. Now, I say we can do introduction/engagement thingy oooo, but I want my grand proposal and my ring first. No ring, no preparation. Finish. It's been kind of a stalemate from there on out. I get time periods when I think to myself maybe I should just go do thing but everytime I think that, I think to myself why compromise on my ideals??? You see I've always thought to myself, when the whole wedding discussion ever comes up for me, it would NOT be like a discussion thing like a lot of Nigerian couples do, but a real proposal, with a real ring, and all of that. So now I have the guy but not the proposal what do I do?

Yesterday I was down again cuz I was thinking well how long do I have to wait for the ring/proposal??? It's been a while abi? Talking to Bolaji, he noticed something was wrong in my voice and asked me what it was. Since we made a vow to each other to always tell each other everything even if it was uncomfortable or difficult, or taboo, or anything, just spill it and then we deal with it from there. So I had to tell him what I was thinking. He just went into the whole Intro/Engagmt thing again. I'm thinking to myself, why oh why can't you just budget and buy my ring already? Or is something wrong? Am I missing something? After that conversation, I picked up my Bible and started to read and as always the words soothed my soul.

I've left everything to God. He created me and knows where he's taking me. Everything will be alright.


NewLife said...

Dear Kemi, love and marriage is not about the ring and the proposal, you have found a man that wants to marry you, consider yourself blessed as long as he's a good man. When you get married you will have to compromise with each other, you never know he may still be planning the ring and proposal, but let him know you are willing to work with him. I didnt get my official ring and proposal until the day before we got married (due to his budget), we did the court marriage and we are having the huge wedding this year, the catch for me though was that, I knew he was trying really hard, and if he had the funds he would do things differently, though it was hard for me, I just sucked things up. I understand the sentiments somewhat, but when a man that knows that you understand him and and knows that you are willing to work with him, he will go to the ends of the earth for you. Its a reward you will reap later. Goodluck.

Kemi said...

oh, I just read this now. thank you sooo much NewLife. Inside of me I know everything you're saying is right. I'm just holding out for a little while longer before I give in. :-) I know i'm being silly!

come back often!!

Anonymous said...

in as much as i know that marriage is not all about ring and proposal and a whole lot more than that...

i too.. (at some point.. in future.. not too long i hope and not too soon) would love the ring and proposal in addition to my man :).

Because.. I love fairy tales and it just seems right for there to be a ring and a proposal.. plus i only plan on doing this once so it needs to be perfect with the ring and proposal and the right man.. not just discussions in a car or wherever... *sigh*... looking forward to reading moreeeee!!!

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