Thursday, May 12, 2011

Baby Baby!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Got you!

No, not pregnant yet. :-)

I have been quite ill though. I've mentioned before that I have hormonal imbalances and sometimes that wreaks a bit of havoc around these parts. But I am feeling much better these days. Thank God. Things are pretty mellow in the BoKem household. Just a steady day-to-day ness of everything. I love that Bo and I don't fight much though so weeks can fly by without very much incidence. One thing that has brought a new dimension into things is that one of Bo's good friends, Nkem (whom I blogged about his wedding here) had a baby girl about a week ago! It is amazing to go through this journey with our friends. I've been so excited about their baby from the moment I heard she was on the way, so to finally arrive at the day where we received the call that she's finally born into this world was amazing. I love this baby already and can't wait to meet her and carry her. It was funny because Bo got a call on his phone around 4am to say that the baby was here and after hanging up, he gently nudged me because he knew I was overly excited about this and told me. I think he was excited too. We hugged and said a prayer for our friends right there and then. We've actually been praying for Sheila throughout her pregnancy so we're just grateful to God. The more we learn about pregnancy the scarier the whole thing seems to myself and Bo.

We talk about it A LOT now which I suppose it's a good thing. Some days I look forward to it but others, I wonder if it's something I REALLY want or if I'm just following convention and just want to experience the same things my friends are. I want to really want my baby, like absolutely feel it in my heart. I don't think I'm there yet. At least not for the right reasons. I have to say though I'm very proud so far of the approach Bo and I have been taking about increasing our family. We talk about it a lot like I previously mentioned. We talk about our thoughts on discipline, our plan to manage finances, we talk about education and the kind of life and lifestyle we want to create for our children. We've actually talked about specific schools we want them to go to and researched admissions, fees, etc. For example, we both agree that we want our kids to go to pre-prep and prep boarding schools abroad which start out quite young (some as young as 4, and require registration as early from birth as possible!). We also talked about how I wanted a five year gap between kids. Bo was surprised about that and said he hadn't really thought about that before and had just assumed 3, but we reasoned out and agreed on 5. When I think about the schools I want my children to go to, it truly truly focuses my mind. For us to be able to afford such schools, we definitely need to build a certain level of income/savings/investments. I'm actually very proud of us that we are thinking things through in this way. It gets us talking and keeps us running as a unit.

We are very aware that these are all just plans. Life has a funny way of happening whether one plans it that way or not. To me that's the fun part of it really. We articulate what we want for our family, pray to God, work hard, and enjoy each day as it comes. Even though we do use contraception (which seems to be odd around these parts), I always periodically check with Bo and say "what if I'm pregnant" he always responds, "well, then you are". This really makes me relaxed because I know no matter what life brings we'll just deal with it together.

On another related note: Bo & I are addicted to the show Giuliana & Bill anyone else out there watch this with their partners? Bo doesn't even watch television but he can sit and watch marathons of this stuff with me. I'm surprised. We always end up feeling very emotional after each episode. They seem to have a really strong marriage don't they?

Last unrelated note: I read one of my commenter's blogs recently where she talked about the 1 Timothy man in relation to the Proverbs 31 woman. I desperately want to find the blog again but can't seem to find it. Please if you can assist me and direct me to the url I'd really appreciate it. I really enjoyed reading the blog. Thanks.


Blessing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blessing said...

Yeah u got me for a second! lol

I love the way that you two communicate...I'm so happy that you speak about the lifestyle that you want for your children and are planning towards it...even researching the admission, that's great!

You two inspire me!!!

Unveilinggold said...

I am loving it..Its great the way you and your hubby think.. Very beautiful
Congrats to your friends..:)

Anonymous said...

i assume by a 5 years gap you must be say 20yrs now and say u will be ready to start having them kids when u are done planning say at 23/25 ? and say have one 26? space them and have another say at 32?

this is assuming you are just 20yrs now which we both know u ar not?

research schools and fees and be sure before gettin pregnant and all the plans? are we not getting overtly paranoid here?

dont be offended am just sayin.....

Kemi said...

@Blessing, thanks! I always look forward to your comments now. they make me smile. thanks a lot for all the encouragement.

@unveilinggold, thanks for your comments. I'll give the baby a kiss for you!

@anon, thanks for commenting. I'm not offended, I really appreciate anyone that reads my blog and comments. I learn from the entire experience.

You know, 20 was a good year. :-) My byline says I'm a twenty-something so there goes that. Maybe after 5 years I'd be 35? or 40? A friend of mine's mother had him at 38, ha! All joking aside, this is just planning. You never know, maybe I'll have twins next year and they'd end up going to a high school in the middle of Nowhere, America like I did and they'd be perfectly well-adjusted children. Who knows?
Only thing I know for sure is my life experiences and faith have thought me, don't be afraid to speak what you want into existence. If this is what I want for my family I'm not afraid to speak it into existence and I'm willing to work hard towards that end. I know God blesses those who work hard, who work diligently, and who surrender all their plans & dreams at His feet. I also know God said you do not receive because you do not ask, or when you ask you ask for the wrong reasons. And I know He commands us to come boldly to the throne. He also says do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And Bo's personal favorite, "Sow your seed in the morning, and in the evening do not withhold your hand, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will equally do well". It doesn't say because you don't know which will succeed don't sow, not only does it say sow, it says sow BOTH in the morning AND evening. Bo & I are committed to sowing day AND night, are prayerful, and go boldy before the throne with our requests for our family. I'm happy with that.

Anonymous said...

thanx for ur answer even tho it went way out of the contxt of my question to start with.

i simply meant in more words than one that you ar a woman and we have specific timeline for procreating and then say at 40 not pregnant just maybe taking care of them kids, maybe these ar sole belif tho, dont knw about u or other people.

all the best

Anonymous said...

Well said Kemi. I pray that God grants you and Bo your hearts' desires.

@1st Anon, there is a Yoruba proverb when translated says "do not use another person's clock to time yourself" Kemi & Bo are going according to their timeline and not the 'timeline for procreating'

lamikayty said...

lol! at the anon comments.
been following your blog for a while and I admire your courage and honesty. One thing I cannot understand is all the planning. just seems a little too detailed for me, but hey thats why we are all so different :) all the best with your plans and I am almost sure that once the baby(ies)'ll be positively enamored that 5 will become 2years :)

Kafo said...

contraception in nigeria

it seems that babies after marriage is the norm
but what is normal to one can't be normal to everyone

stay beautiful

Kemi said...

@Anon, I'm glad I answered at least some bits of your question, though the answer came out longwinded, but I promise you it just came out of me as I was thinking of it. Many people are different and I'm starting to appreciate that about life. My cousin just last week gave me the evil eye, looked absolutely mortified, and exclaimed "I would NEVER want to be carrying kiddies in my forties". Which was fine but the funny thing is, I've never ever in my life thought of that as a bad thing! I'm getting up there but I'm also keeping things in perspective: I'm very much not 30 years old yet, and won't even be in the next 1-2 YEARS! It only takes 9-10months to have a kid ;-)

@Anon2, thanks for your comments and truly thanks for your prayers :-)

@lamikayty, you're so kind, thanks for your comments. entirely possible that I'd LOVE it so much I'd want to do it right away. Life is fun, change is part of the excitement :-)

@Kafo, I laughed out loud when I read your comments. My mother in law very much supports family planning (though probably not to the timeline we have in mind i'm sure, yikes!), my mother, well, I'm definitely up there in her prayer points! Which is fine, whatever God brings :-)

Cor d'Harmonie said...

Please let us know if you find the blog about the 1 Timothy man vs Proverbs 31 woman. It sounds like it'd be a post worth reading :)

Adenike said...

Can I just say Kemi that this particular post actually inspired me to book a holiday next year to Morocco but not before my few days in France in December. I'm so excited I'm twenty-something years old and have never been aboard before. Plus I'm single and longing and yearning for that special companion to go through life with but hey why not make the most of this season whilst it lasts I figured especially because once married, for me babies will be next on the agenda :) I guess its different with everyone :)

Talitha Koum said...

I believe this is the post you are looking for...its actually a 3-part blog about the 1 Tim 3 Man.
Hope it helps :-)

Kemi said...

@Cor, please see Talitha's comment below yours.

@Talitha, thanks once again. I appreciate it and you!

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