Wednesday, July 13, 2011

2nd Time Around

Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Things have been a bit hectic in the BoKem household. Bo switched careers and I've switched jobs, all in the last few weeks. We've been praying about this process for a little while now and it had added a bit to the stress of the last month but I'm so glad to finally see the back of it and things coming back to normal.

Right now I'm on my laptop and Bo is seated across from me on his laptop, we're both on our dining table but both engrossed in our work. It's a bit blissful. I remember when we first started dating and I think Bo out of concern for my motor mouth (ha!) said to me that he's the type of person who could be working in one room and his partner be in another room and they not speak to each other for hours. I think he was concerned that I'd be the type to always seek stimulus or attention. I'm not. I think by now he can safely agree with me. lol. I'm perfectly fine doing my own thing for a few, thank you very much!

I've noticed something recently that I've wanted to blog about. I don't know how it came about or from where it came but recently I've been feeling like I'm falling in love with my husband all over again. It sounds strange but that's truly how I've been feeling. If I were to analyze it I would say the first year of marriage for us was so eventful in terms of norming our behaviors etc., but by the time the second year was beginning things had really stabilized. Instead of disagreeing about lifestyle/living issues we were now disagreeing about LIFE issues. I don't think we were ready to be as tolerant with each other as we had been in the past. So we went through that short period but out of that period I feel like I'm just now truly melding with my husband into one unit. I'm excited at the prospect of how it would be like after 50 years if this is how it feels like in the second year! The old Kemi is growing into 1/2 BoKem. One would think this comes naturally but I'm now learning and experiencing that it doesn't. It's in the little things that I notice. We now think more alike than we ever did before. We now share more of the same principles than we ever did before, we now can communicate almost seamlessly. A truly "us against the world" kind of bond is really starting to develop between us. I can only imagine that after 25 years, all the experiences we've been on together and all the decisions we've made together, and just the sheer amount of life we've LIVED together, is going to make it pretty difficult to know where one thread ends and the other begins. This is amazing to me.

I think so this is how these things grow that by the time our children our adults all they will know is ONE family unit, and they would think "Mom & Dad have always been this way". This is amazing to me. And for me as a Christian woman to think all perfect gift is from God, I'm just in awe at how he's designed us human beings so perfectly from our curiosity as teenagers, our need for companionship as adults, our desire to join with another human being, and the creation of a complete family unit out of thin air. Amazing. As an aside, from my devotional today my lesson is this: God has a plan for everybody and that plan is perfect. Take my word for it.

But back to my falling in love with my husband, second time around, how can you not fall in love again with a man who says when we were discussing a demand his grandfather made on us, "I would really like to satisfy his request but I'm more interested in balancing my future with my past, and hon, you're my future and he's from my past." I MEAN, how wonderful is this dude??? We ended up doing things his gran's way but it is just wonderful to know that my hubby puts me first. I couldn't help but thinking and I told him, I'm so devoted and committed to him. I really am. This man has pulled out all stops for me consistently. Not in the frivolous, easy-to-change things, but in the real stuff. He supports me and has my back consistently and thoroughly. I'm such a lucky girl. I'm just so appreciative of the wonderful man his parents raised really. It is so unexpected to be falling in love with a man you're already married to!

Baby Watch Update: Okay, so I think we're very close. More and more I'm getting closer to wanting a baby to add to our family. I'm so glad we've followed a life plan and have purposely waited (used contraceptives). This time we have with just two of us is so golden. If we had had kids any earlier our lives would have changed to revolve around them (which is not a bad thing by the way, once you're parents it's a full time job!) but I'm just so very glad for the time we've had to grow into the people we are now. I feel for Bo and I we're just that bit more ready to be parents, we are much more confident in ourselves, in our principles, in our belief system, and really in what we want our family to stand for. I'm excited! Bo brought up a point recently though, since this blog is anonymous (*wink) I won't be able to chronicle pregnancy as much as I'd like. Good point. So as an aside, the whole baby dates/pregnancy reports may have to be a few months off, or in. Hmmm....maybe I'm already there (would certainly explain the absence wouldn't it?) :-)

PS - I'm trying to convince Bo to do a guest post. Let's see how that works out shall we?

16 comments:

Giagerry said...

Awww i alwys smile whenever Im on here, especially the part of falling in love with him all over again. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :)

Anonymous said...

AWWWWW..U two are so adorable. I love ur down to earthedness....God bless ur home..oh yes to baby..yes yes yes yes yes yes


HoneyDame
honeydame1.blogspot.com

H said...

U always remind me why one should wait. God bless u guys.

dayor said...

Awww, nice. meLikey!

Ginger said...

"I would really like to satisfy his request but I'm more interested in balancing my future with my past, and hon, you're my future and he's from my past."

Golden quote!! Every man should know this. God bless you both.

P.E.T. Projects said...

It would be nice to have him put up a post!

t said...

Really cute and warm and positive. Love. Enjoy your bliss.

Adenike said...

You know, just a few days ago I was down in the dumps thinking about my "love life", not that I even have one. But I was thinking about past failed relationships and all the crappy men I've come across and just grew anxious about my future and wondering whether it were possible for me to meet and marry a good, wonderful man. I remember reading one of your posts about your past relationships and now just reading about your relationship with Bolaji....it makes me gush for you and gives me so much hope :)

And please get him to do a guest post,that would be nice.

Love.live.learn said...

Your writing is so mature and I love the fact that you don't make it seem like a fairytale but a story of Bo and Kemi becoming BoKem. Do convince him to write a post.

Blessing said...

I love you two!!!! :):):)

Hmmm....I wonder if you're already there o!!! That would be GREAT!

Yes, Bo should do a guest post!

Myne Whitman said...

It would be great to read him too :)

Keep loving...

H said...

Please join in on my 100th post giveaway

http://crushthots.blogspot.com/2011/07/100th-post.html

Faith said...

i love reading your posts ... so refreshing and i always leave with a smile on my face!

OK said...

nice...

angelsbeauty said...

awww great news! *dances*

Kemi said...

@Giagerry - you're making me blush with your "aww" :-) thanks for your kind comments.

@HoneyDame - so i guess that's a yes to the baby from you? lol. I can't wait to share that journey on this blog whenever it does happen!

@H - thanks H! More than waiting, I think it's recognizing a good man and grabbing him with both hands and never letting go :-) We're made for each other.

@dayor - thanks for commenting!

@Ginger - Amen and amen. I can't lie i did have tears in my eyes when he said that and I tried to hold it in so Bo wouldn't think I'm Miss Mushy lol. I tried to be a big girl and hold it in, but I was touched.

@P.E.T - I'm working on it. Even right now as I type...

@t - thanks!

@Adenike - your comments meant so much to me. God has truly given us a beautiful gift and I cherish it dearly. I'm working on Bo's post, let's keep our fingers crossed.

@love.live. learn - thanks for your compliments. I hope to be able to present that no one and no relationship is perfect, but there's a kernel of truth and love and then both parties work hard to navigate life together based on that love. It's up and it's down but it's a wonderful journey I'm blessed to take.

@Blessing - thanks!

@Myne - working on it.

@H - heading there right now! (after the few responses below that is lol)

@Faith - thanks so much for your comments. I absolutely LOVE your blog and the down to earthness and realness of it. Thanks for being you!

@OK - thanks for stopping by.

@angelsbeauty - or is it? :-) keep reading!

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