Though we had agreed that we wouldn't be giving gifts this year, my husband surprised me with TWO gifts! They were absolutely fabulous and it's official that my husband spoils me. He is one of those men that wants his wife to have the finest of things, and like I've resorted to telling him these days, "I can't wait till you're wealthy because I know you will SPOIL me!" Whenever I say this, Bo just shakes his head and laughs. He loves his wife :-) I felt so special when I received the gifts I cried. I always cry when he gives me gifts, I don't know why. I just feel so incredibly lucky and undeserving of his love and affection. I remind myself that in marriage, and in our partner, we get the closest to experiencing on earth, the kind of love God feels for us. Through my husband I'm able to ponder the magnitude of God's love for me. It's amazing.
Yesterday after having breakfast, Bo and I proceeded to talk about our relationship and our plans for the upcoming year. It was quite a spontaneous conversation but I really ended up liking it so it's probably something I'll encourage for the future. Essentially each of us named 5 things we were planning/hoping for for next year and then going down the list flesh out in details what actions we would have to take to achieve those goals. Two things both Bo and I had on our lists: build a better relationship with spouse/strengthen or sweeten the relationship; get a definitive answer on children. We ended up having a long conversation on the latter which I think has brought us closer to the same page. There were loads of talking and giggling (on my part) throughout the conversation. We were seated outdoors and it was just blissful. I'm blessed. Many people say having kids is really hard because it's like having your heart outside of you, walking around. That must be incredible because I feel the same way about Bo now. This evening I told him exactly that, he responded he felt the same way and I wondered to myself if I feel this way about my husband how will I feel about a child? Can one love even more than this?
For those who think, "this is too fairytale like", I'll have you know Bo and I had a massive fight about a week and a half ago. Massive. I was depressed the entire day. Luckily for me, when Bo got back he bee-lined straight to me and asked that we talk. We talked the issue out but sometimes it's really hard to let the angry emotion go but one of the things I'm committed to challenging myself to is being able to just accept an apology or the explanation of an intent, and LET IT GO. Letting go for no absolute reason is really hard but I'm learning it. I decided to forgive my husband and just move on with life. This is how we've been able to move the pendulum back to the "mushy" mood we're in now. I think he forgives me too.
I look to him as he's sleeping beside me now and I'm truly overwhelmed by how lucky and blessed I am. Thank You God. For 2012 I pray You teach us how to love each other better. Amen.
Happy New Years in advance and thanks for reading my blog in 2011!