The Good Wife's Guide

There's a popular guide to being a good wife that's been making the rounds on the internet for probably years. Some say it's a hoax, some believe it's real, some say it's still a valid article for today's world, some say it's antiquated and irrelevant to today's society. Everyone's free to make up their own assumptions. I'm not so concerned about whether it's real or not as I believe a lot of 1950s women would definitely recognize some of the advice given inside. Now in Nigeria, I'm absolutely certain most women believe and agree that the advice is sound advice as a matter of course. Sometimes I believe our society now mirrors America in the 1950s and 60s, whether that's a good or bad thing is entirely relative.

As for me when I read the article I think I try and understand the motive behind the writer giving the sort of advice he/she gives or what exactly are they trying to say. In my home of course I try and make it a sanctuary, a home, a safety zone for my husband and I, and of course I'm mindful to always look nice and smell nice etc because...well, he's my husband and I need him to desire me. To me it's natural to want these things. Where I think I differ is that I would require my husband to also feel that same way and want to do those same things too! I think it's both our responsibilities to make and keep our home a sanctuary. We both have to be ready and willing to listen to the other and to talk to each other. I see these things more like a partnership where it's each partner's responsibility to nourish the soul of the other and ensure that the other is fulfilled.

Anyway, without further ado, here's the list:

The Good Wife’s Guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place.