Thursday, January 20, 2011

Not a Happy Bunny

Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm sitting at my desk today and I've been sad pretty much all day. Bo came back from Europe yesterday evening, from the airport went to work, from work came back home at around 9pm, then went into our study and worked until about 1am. This morning, he left the house at 7am and is off Dakar for work and wont be back till Saturday. It's a busy period for him and he is essentially juggling three massive projects right now. By massive, I mean pretty much a big deal and at least one of those deals will certainly make your daily newspaper, the other involves a lot of money. I get it. He's busy.

I've mentioned before Bo is an investment banker and I'm a management consultant, and in between the two of us we have really, incredibly busy periods, but when those two periods mesh? then we're in trouble. I'm also working on two really time consuming projects right now. Getting a call in these last few days has been tough, it's either we're both working, rushing off to a meeting, or sleeping. We tried to talk about spending some quality time together but Bo barely looked up from his computer. I'm so exasperated. Yesterday was a very eventful and long day for me and since he's been gone there's just been so many happenings that I haven't been able to discuss with him and was looking forward to talking over, however my babe didn't even look up from his Excel spreadsheet for more than 10min. That's all I got. Most times I don't even feel married (and this is a good thing in my books), I just feel like I'm continuing on in this great relationship but then there are times like this that I'm so very aware that I am married and no matter what both he and I must resolve this issue. I allowed myself to think to myself what would I have done, or what would I be thinking if we were just dating not married. I know I would have said to myself, "Kemi are you ready for this kind of a lifestyle?"

Being two professionals with demanding jobs and living together as husband and wife I think is challenging at times like this. I think I can now understand it how a partner can quit their job and become a housewife, because maybe a marriage can only withstand one high-flying career at a time. Yesterday I felt a bit like the housewife in that popular '50s "the good wife's guide" that was published by Housekeeping Magazine. Number 10 says,:

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

THIS is how I feel sometimes. And I work about 50-60hours every week as well! I'm hoping when Bolaji gets back we can sit and properly discuss how we're going to find us time in between the chaos, even if it means leaving some work undone until the next day. I'm just upset because I seem to do this much better than he. I still got my million kisses to wake me up this morning and some hugs and kisses when I dropped him off this morning, but there was a lot of silence in between. I hate when there's tension in the air, we have to talk it out as soon as his work trip is over.

PS - I think I'll post the Good Wife's Guide next. Should be fun :-)

PPS - To lighten up the mood of the post, here are a couple of pictures of my bouquet. I loved it!


Blessing said...

Awww I'm sorry Kemi!!! I can only imagine how you feel after not seeing Bo for so long and not getting to spend quality time with him before he dashed off again! I hope that you two can sit down and talk about when he returns...hang in there dear!

Lovely bouquet! Love the first pic in the car!

Nana said...

I can completely understand how you are feeling Kemi. My fiancé is currently a house officer [gasp] and will be starting his orthopedic surgery fellowship soon [double gasp]. He recently relocated to a new hospital about 2 hours away from where we used to live and with the hospital being so small in a much smaller town, he has to work EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. granted he works 5-6 hour shifts most days but still... The hospital is understaffed and I swear it sometimes feels like he is the only doctor in that town, ugh! It takes a toll on us, both physically, mentally and emotionally since our schedules are so different and tight, and the worst part is his schedule isn't even fixed, thankfully mine is. He works mornings, noon and some night shifts so any free time he gets, hes getting some much needed sleep. What stinks even more is the fact that we aren't living together now and it hurts me everyday. Its really tough being in this kind of relationship when work seems to 'get in the way' but because I love him and wouldn't trade him for the world, I will just hang in there. This is just the beginning and I know for a fact that it wont be like this forever so I'm gonna hang in there and look forward to the future when we can look back one day and say, remember the time when...

I am sure you will be able to make it work too. Just hang in there and pray. Good luck.

H said...

Eeeya pele.
It is well, lav. U must feel a lil lonely, or maybe a lot lonely but I'm sure he's always thinking about you.


Faith said...

i think you have the best thoughts in mind as to what you ought to do. it is best to discuss it now since it gets to you that you aren't able to spend as much time together when work gets busy. hoping that the talk goes smoothly and that this wknd = lots of quality time together!

love your bouquet and i think it might be fun to read the good wife's guide! :)

HoneyDame said...

oh I hate not being the center of YY's attention......maybe I should swear off marriage...and keep him chasing after me in a loooooonnnng courtship!(or not!)

Anonymous said...

another *sigh* life has its ups and downs.. the downs reminds us why we should savour every moments of the ups - must have been tough. I am trying to learn the whole picking the right time ot have a 'discussion', makes life easier

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