Friday, March 4, 2011

Cut Me Some Slack

Friday, March 4, 2011
Those where the words Bo said to me a while ago. We were having an argument....ahem discussion (lol) about something or the other, and he says, "come on, cut me some slack here, I'm trying my best." While I didn't say anything right there and then those words echoed and stayed with me.

Cut. Me. Some. Slack.

I think sometimes when we are in a relationship and so familiar with each other, we want them to be so many things to us, sometimes we forget that it takes quite a bit of effort to try and please someone else. That's how I translate this. It made me open my eyes and look to my hubby with eyes of compassion and understanding. Now it's like a mantra I run in my head all the time. I'm this man's wife, the person he's pledged his life to, the person he works extremely hard to make sure she's comfortable, if all he requests is just a little "slack", then I can learn to give him that. This has had many implications for us. Right now, Bo is involved in a few pretty big projects and he's either always on some conference call, or he has some documents he has to hand in to his partners. This gets frustrating sometimes but where previously I would have launched into a speech about how our relationship is just as important or more important than ANY other thing he could possibly come across and deserves just as much time, nowadays, I really make an effort to be more supportive and caring. I choose to see things from his point of view.

It's not that I've given up my relationship nazi role :-) I haven't. I'm still committed to this. It's just now I want to be the wife who gives her hubby a break every now and then. Life is not so much a race. It's to be enjoyed. And this is my partner. I'm the girl in his corner. Always.

I'm not even sure Bo has noticed this, but I've noticed this. I'm a bit less tense and a lot happier. I've mentioned that somehow, and I thank God for the opportunities coming our way, the last few months have been extremely busy for both of us. We are really working hard. I think it's with the realization that we want our family to be financially stable. We both want to be successful people and we have that understanding that right now, right now, is the time to lay that foundation. With all this happening, it can be really challenging to stay as connected as we would want. However what I love the most about myself and my hubby is that we are truly BFFs. It seems to balance us. I'm starting to get that having a hubby who showers me with love and kisses and affection, works hard to bring home the bacon, supports me (to the max!) while I'm working to bring home the bacon, and we are always never too busy to share a laugh, is a magnificent and wonderful thing.

It's like this stage in our marriage we are actually truly becoming one. It's beautiful.

So yes, I think the lesson or realization for me a this stage is, it's okay to cut hubby some slack, but it's also okay to cut myself some slack. Just live and enjoy each other's company for another gracious day we have together.

On another note: I have to forewarn that baby fever is rising in the BoKem household. I foresee that a lot of future posts will be about the oscillation between having a baby and not having a baby, and the excitement about the possibilities of even being at a stage where I'm truly considering being a mother. So I apologize in advance. I can't help it. :-)

9 comments:

P.E.T. Projects said...

The anti and pro have-a-baby-now debate is one every young couple i know seem to have at some point in time. I hear one party ends up making a huge sacrifice/compromise. Anyways, its all for the best.

As for cutting him the slack... its all in the compromise for love innit?

Natural Nigerian said...

You are right, it is not an unreasonable request. And it is one that we tend to take for granted.

Myne Whitman said...

I always felt being laid back gives me more leeway to enjoy life, so I totally agree on this one. Good luck to you guys on the baby, and I hope everything works out. HUGS

Blessing said...

Aww....yay @ a BoKem Baby!!!

Ur such a great wife...truly an inspiration...

disgodkidd said...

me like...

@ilola said...

Enjoy the marital bliss

Aduke Owon said...

Hi, I like your blog. I came up with an idea to do the same, and found yours while at it. I find it really good to keep a journal of these things. It helps, for posterity sake, and also to see how much God has strengthened you and allowed you grow through relationships with your husband/boyfriend.
I have a question though, how did you create that thing with the list? I noticed you also did that with some of your text msgs from him, and I'd like to do the same, or similar.
Thanks, feel free to check out my blog at
http://arewandi.blogspot.com/

Kemi said...

thanks everyone for your comments.

@Blessing, thanks, your comment really touched me.

@Aduke, the list thing is part of my template and honestly I don't know how to create it separately. Good luck! I'm off to your blog...

angelsbeauty said...

i love Bo and Kemi's relationship and marriage and the openess and the discussions etc...

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