Monday, March 7, 2011

List Found!

Monday, March 7, 2011
Bo and I were rummaging through my bags (I've still not unpacked all my bags into my now marital home) and we came across a booklet I had a few years ago, just before I met Bolaji. So we opened the notepad up and on that first page there was the list to the birthday party I was planning, also on that page at the bottom were several signatures. My signatures. Signed with the name of the gentleman who for some reason I was so sure I was going to marry. But still that's not what this blogpost is about. Smack dab in the center of the page was my "list." I've spoken about my list, the list of qualities I would like in a man that I wrote down basically because Dr. Phil told me to (in his book). I was so embarrassed the minute I realized what it was and Bo's question of what it was came. I told him what it was and as he went down the list for some reason he kept on repeating "4 years older??? 4 years older?" I'm not sure why out of everything on the list, this is what stood out to him. Here's my list:

  1. Honest
  2. Thoughtful
  3. Kind
  4. Ambitious
  5. Sexy Smile
  6. Spiritual
  7. Not prone to arguments
  8. Witty
  9. Doest take himself too seriously
  10. Non-judgemental
  11. Mature
  12. At least 4 years older
  13. Successful
  14. Exposure (exposed)
  15. Not quick blooded, thinks rationally
  16. Self-control
So that was the list. It was very interesting to go over the list and realize that my hubby actually possesses almost every single quality on this list. How did this happen? I'm not quite sure but I know for sure I got incredibly lucky. Later that day we were in the car when I asked him, how come out of everything on the list the age thing is what got his goat? He tells me that he always thought he would have to marry someone either his age or older than him, he says he never thought in a million years he was going to marry someone younger than him. In his mind then such a person would be quite "young" and immature and he was very much not into that. He didn't say much about anything else on the list. When he read, "sexy smile," he gave me a big smile and I said "you're very silly." :-)

Any baby watch update? Well, we spent the evening yesterday with my parents-in-law and some of Bo's cousins, one of which just had a beautiful baby girl. She's 7 months old. These situations just always make me feel so self-conscious because I feel that everyone's looking to us and thinking "aww, they want one" or "aww, when will you guys hurry up and make babies?" So to compensate for this I tend to not carry any babies when the parents (mine and his) are around. I don't play with the babies or anything, I just make a few comments and get on my blackberry so nobody gets any ideas. Imagine then that I had to raise an eyebrow this morning when Bolaji was getting dressed and says to me, casually might I add, "Guess what I was thinking yesterday?" He then tells me that he was thinking it would be "cool" to have a baby. After making a mental note to limit our interactions with babies in general because it obviously makes my hubby go soft :-), I tell him that from my point of view all babies are cute. It's a fact of life. What's not cute is the story his cousin was telling us of how said baby recently changed sleeping patterns and now keeps them up till 2:30 in the morning by jabbing their noses etc. Bolaji sighs, and says "oh yea, that's not cool." I think I've bought myself more time, score! This is how it is now in the BoKem household. I'm truly wondering how long it will be before we cave. Have I mentioned that I'm thoroughly enjoying this phase of our lives together? Because I do.


Mrs Newlywed said...

great post too. I made a list too and i got most things and more :)
yea the baby talk is an on and off thing for us too!

Mulika said...

You make me want to go and fish out my list but unfortunately it is in storage! It would be great to revisit it as we approach our 1yr to see just how relevant the list reads...

Regarding the baby thing, I just have to keep reminding myself that everything in its own time and not to try and force the situation. We still have a lot of getting to know each other to complete before introducing a baby into the mix.

HoneyDame said...

LMao at the baby jabbing at their noses. YY has kind of agreed to stay off for like a year or two after marriage before talking babies. Do I believe him? Nope! Do I trust him on that one? Nope! My plan? I won't be getting marriage to him till I am sure that making babies right off will not upset me too much. A girlz gotta be wary of all those south-south boys!
I can imagine you being on your BB while everyone is oohin and ahhin over the baby. If you had an inlaw like me, you wudnt like me "shat"! I LOOOOVEEE CUTE babies. And as far as I am concerned, marriage=time to make babies.
Don't mind me, I contradict myself sometimes...:)
I am green with envy o. So u are enjoying ehn? No wahala... someday soon.. someday very soon, I shall be regaling thee with my stories in this aspect...;) Have fun Hon

Blessing said...

Awwww....u got ur list man!!!

I have a feeling that u 2 will cave in very soon ;-).

H said...

Awww...I wonder how u felt when u came across the list...the flush of memories (the memory rush, nostalgia...)

2011 Conception #nuffsaid

@ilola said...

Happy Mariied life. I wish nyou conjugal bliss and God bless your home.
Not all babies are cute o, you need to go to makoko, AJ city, orile and see the babies there, there is nothing cute about them. What I am trying to say is that it is only a well taken care of baby that is cute.
Congrats on buying more time, but it might not last for long o.
First time here. You can check me out on

Anonymous said...

@ ilola, I think it's very unfair to say that only 'well taken care of babies' are cute! I'm sure the mothers of those kids do their best to ensure they have the best of whatever they can afford at that point in time. One thing I know for certain, is that every baby is a blessing from God and those mothers think the world of their babies, irrespective of their financial constraints.

Gbemisoke said...

This here "When he read, "sexy smile," he gave me a big smile and I said "you're very silly." :-)" had me cracking up... your Bo's too cute :o)
My lil mama's almost 10 months old and teething, so she keeps me up at night and is right this very moment trying to chew on my big toe but I find that when she smiles my heart just melts and I forget my discomfort.... enjoy every day of this phase and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting things your way... I wanted babies immediately and it was only after I had my son that I realized I could have made better use of the eight months I waited... Best wishes

Kemi said...

@Mrs. Newlywed, I tried commenting on your blog but it wouldn't allow me to unfortunately.

@Mulika, I bet the list is still relevant :-) I agree with you on enjoying the moment but remember if you're not ready, to think of contraceptives. A friend who did not think was ready, found herself pregnant a week after her wedding!

@HoneyDame, I'm thoroughly enjoying it, but I suppose I've paid my dues to get here. It's almost like the calm before the storm and knowing this makes me appreciate it the more. I certainly will be ready to listen whenever you're ready to regal.

@Blessing, we have set a timeline to TTC and I don't think we're going to move it. We're both stubborn in that way.

@H, it felt embarrassing for me! Conception in 2011 is unlikely, but never say never.

@ilola, thank you so much for your prayers and thanks for reading my blog. I think all babies are cute. Some may be malnourished, some may be even born with disorders etc., but to me all babies are cute all the same.

@Anonymous, I think what ilola meant to say was just that not all babies have that bouncing baby boy glow, some sadly are unfortunate. I don't think she meant to imply that not all mothers do their best. For me, like I mentioned it's not even about chubby cheeks, just the fact that it's new life, innocence to the world, and little fingers & toes, etc., that make all babies cute to me.

@Gbemisoke, thanks, he is cute even though he IS silly sometimes, ha! I'm just enjoying the in-between time. To me, it's an amazing miracle that I'm actually discussing bringing a child into this world.

Fluffycutething said...

Come to think of it i didn't have a list!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't get the age thing? so are you and your husband 4 years apart?

Omoregee said...

Yay! U got your list-guy. I av a list too :)Someone saw recently n felt It was a lil unreal, but I know my list-guy exists, at least I av met two! So, I shall not settle.

I think couples should take a lil while to get used to each other before bringing in a child. Family intervention is always a major challenge, you gotta keep your hubby strong.

I love your blog!

Anonymous said...

haha.. my aunt made me write a list as well, about 4/5 years ago, no idea where it is you know.. hmm...

lol @ baby talk, he is really broody.

Post a Comment

Till My Dying Day © 2008. Design by Pocket